Worst Films Of 2002
This is the list that no one wants to be on. Maybe if I were a more politically correct individual I would say, the 10 films that I really didn’t like during the last year. But even though I’m a nice guy and I don’t like to bash people at what they do, these 10 films did really leave a sour taste in my mouth. Some were because I expected more. Some were because I expected something. And some, I didn’t expect anything, and I got less than I expected.
Now in the nearly 150 films that I saw during the past year I am happy to report that I felt positive about a lot more films than I felt negative about. But still, I had plenty of candidates for this list. I did notice that a number of films that got here were comedies (one of my favorite genres – but also one of the toughest). Another number of films included people I really like, but was very disappointed in. Without further ado, let’s get to the lemons of 2002.
So what almost made the list? The honorable (or dishonorable) mentions for the year. Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever (I still can’t figure out the Vs. part)
Stealing Harvard (It missed out because there were scenes when Tom Green was NOT onscreen)
The New Guy (Ok, I chuckled twice – I think)
Chelsea Walls (This bored me…sorry Ethan – I really like you, but….)
Men In Black II (I did laugh a number of times despite the contrived setups)
Then there was….Reign Of Fire, The Time Machine, and Blade II (more I just didn’t like)
But now……on to the Bottom 10.
10. Slackers – This was a film that had potential. A nice little plot about some college slackers that practically run the college. The can do what the want, when they want and yet it deteriorates into something that just gets lost along the way. Nothing is very funny; the trailer for the film has all of the humor. Despite a nice young cast, Slackers is slacking.
9. Full Frontal – Now here is something special. There probably is no good reason that this film makes this list. I was, however, lost and bored through a good portion of this film. I wanted to like it. I am a Steven Soderbergh fan. But even the quirky nature of the behind the scenes action from this film couldn’t save the film from what it became, murky and muddled.
8. Solaris – How can it be that a director that placed two films on my top 10 a mere 2 years ago has this happen to them? Well I dug and dug and dug for reasons to like Solaris. I read the notes for the film over and over again, even knowing full well that most moviegoers aren’t given the same set of production notes that I get to make sense out of a film, but I STILL couldn’t find a reason to like the film. It got a lot of buzz because of a naked butt for George Clooney. That’s all you get here!
7. Half Past Dead – I liked Steven Seagal in Above the Law. I liked him in Hard to Kill. I even stomached him in the recently released Exit Wounds. But as most critics declared with their headlines for the review of this film, this is more like the title of his career. Does Seagal still have some gas in the tank? I think so. But this film shows that it is desperately running in the danger zone right now.
6. The Master of Disguise – Dana Carvey has a way with making me laugh. Carvey’s Garth in Wayne’s World had me rolling. Some of the Saturday Night Live skits had me in stitches. This film did nothing to me. Sure it is geared towards a 12-year-old audience, but it should have initiated a chuckle or two out of me, it didn’t. Although I didn’t like it the blonde young lady in her 20’s that sat next to me at the screening I attended exclaimed, “That was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen”. Need I say more? This one is turtley enough for you!
5. Juwanna Mann – This is too much like shooting fish in a barrel. Man is a chauvinist, showboat that breaks the rules one too many times in the NBA, then gets suspended and decides he can beat up on the women of the WNBA. Oh boy!
4. The Adventures of Pluto Nash – This film didn’t have a direction, and that was my biggest problem with it. It made me believe that it was somewhat a family film, given its poster. But it wasn’t a family film at all. Instead it had no direction whatsoever. One minute it wanted to be a comedy and make you laugh. Next, it wanted to be an action film and have gunfire everywhere. Still at yet another time, it wanted to be a science fiction film. Had it stuck to one format or another, maybe…but instead it jumped everywhere and did not one thing especially well.
3. The Rules of Attraction – Ok, there are some diehards out there that will give me grief for this selection, but this film didn’t click at all for me. Within the first 15 minutes the way things developed totally lost me. I refuse to go into the first 15 minutes here, but suffice it to say it made my stomach churn. That may have been the intent of director Roger Avary, but it just didn’t sit well with me. While I grant that some may have enjoyed this film, I definitely did not.
2. Swept Away – This one is too much like piling on to go ahead and put it at the top of my list of the worst films of 2002. I loved Madonna in Evita, however that has been the only film that I can honestly say I liked at all that she was a part of. (Unless of course you count the small role in Die Another Day.) I will just leave it at the fact that I just felt this movie was bad in its acting, setup, story, and well…that about covers it. Sorry, but I just didn’t like this film on so many levels.
1. Rollerball – How did Rollerball end up on top of this year end list of films. Well, I had high hopes going in to the screening. I had a kind of affection for the original with James Caan. I like the premise of the game and what the future of sport may be. For the most part I like the cast (Chris Klein, LL Cool J, Rebecca Romijin-Stamos, and Jean Reno) and expected them to hold down the fort. Boy was I wrong on EVERY aspect of this movie. It was a mess and bored me to tears (and that is saying something for a film that is supposed be an action flick). Ah well, I can’t expect everything to turn out as I hoped. I’ve put this one behind me, and if you’re lucky you’ll never have to see it.
Well that’s it. Another year, another set of films by the wayside. Of course there may have been other films worthy of a spot on this list, but I may not have seen them. If you like a film on this list, you just have really different taste than I do. And that’s ok! Films are meant to take us on a journey. That journey is different for each of us. Whatever your journey, enjoy your time at the movies!
Paul
© 2003 Paul Hall, All Rights Reserved